everything is going to be fine
by tootooroo
Summary: He was gone. He left.


" _Everything is going to be fine."_

That was what her mother had always told her. She was only a little girl, age could be counted with two hands.

So she just trusted her mother. She _had_ to.

Because it was her mother who said so.

 _Mom never lied._

Eventhough her face had become too pale. Voice too weak.

She believed her. She _tried_ to.

Eventhough they were putting her six feet beneath the soil.

* * *

 _Everything is going to be fine_

She thought as she hugged her knees tight.

Hiding.

Shivering.

She kept telling herself _the thing_.

As her father went berserk, throwing things inside the house.

* * *

 _Everything is going to be fine_

She told herself.

As she watched the man she adored

turned into someone she had never known.

* * *

 _Everything is going to be fine_

That was the only thing she clinged into.

The _only_ thing.

And she was the _only_ one who could (and would) tell her that.

So it was natural when she kept saying that thing to herself

on and on

when she felt her personal space had been intruded

by a certain black-haired city boy, whom her father referred to as his apprentice.

(Who, apparently, got to live with them from that day on.)

* * *

 _Everything is going to be fine_

She just sat there, silently.

Confused.

Agape.

Eyes wide.

Everytime her nightmares crept in and woke her up, she would expect to meet the dull ceiling of her bedroom.

Inhaled, exhaled, trying to calm her irregular breathing.

Telling herself _the thing_. And went back to her slumber.

Honestly, she didn't know how to react

when she jolted awake from the pavor nocturnus

only to find a pair of concerned black eyes staring at her.

Hand inches from her shoulder, clearly showing his hesitation whether to touch her or not.

But it was not the plastered worried expression across his face that made her puzzled.

Not that.

It was because of the way he assured her

" _Everything is going to be fine."_

(That was when she realised, _perhaps_ she and her mother were _not_ the only ones who would bother telling her that.)

* * *

 _Everything is going to be fine_

She grew up believing

that _those words_ were blatant, sugar-coated lie

eventhough she needed them to keep her sane.

But then

as the years passed

and her life became more vivid

 _vibrant_

with the additional person in their tedious house

and everything he did;

the mess he made

his determination

his antics

his stupidity

his pleas

his laughters

his silent sobs

his care

his affections

his gazes

 _his words_

she realised.

When it came from him, _those words_ were not actually meaningless.

* * *

 _Everything is going to be fine_

She was a little girl no more. Her age was off the clock already.

Fifteen.

Not that mature.

But old enough for her to understood

the heated arguments inside her father's study room.

She was a kid again

staying inside her crib.

Curling.

Hiding.

Rushing outside as she heard something was thrown

and the front door flew open.

 _She understood._

As she watched him

coat on

cases in hands

back facing her.

 _She understood._

That was why she had to resist every urges

to grab him by his shoulder

to ask him to stay

to plead

to show her tears just to convince him

that she really meant them.

So instead

for the first time in forever,

she just called out his first name.

Hoping he would change his mind

or at the very least, turned to face her. Letting her eyes to talk to him.

 _But he didn't._

So as he walked away in silence, _she understood_.

She'd spent years telling herself _those words_.

Again and again

and again.

She could do it then.

And she could do it _now_.

So she did as such.

 _Everything is going to be fine_

eventhough

he was gone

 _he left._

* * *

 _Wrote this one on impulse. Yes, Ri could be an expressionless, sassy badass woman who could disarm a gang of bandits in no time. But being an estranged daughter of a nearly-mad man, I couldn't help but to imagine her as a timid, mature, yet fragile girl during her childhood. I like writing young royai, and if anybody have different ideas, you could tell me anytime. Thanks for reading! ;w;_


End file.
